BE BRAVE, BE THE ELDEST

expectations, and pressure. The words that I am always afraid of. A reality that I should face in order to get rid of the cowardice in me. Living to be the eldest daughter is a great responsibility. You will be experiencing stress from school works and other activities. People are expecting something from you. They're expecting you to excel in school especially if you received good performance and win a lot of contest. You should be a good role model specially to your younger siblings. You are the first hope of your parents in order to escape poverty. The pressure that sometimes give you pain because you are afraid of mistakes and failures. This is difficult for me. If only she's here life must be so easy. She might be my greatest allies whenever someone tease me. Probably she will do her best to accompany me and guide me as I go outside the house and face the world. She might be my human diary. Someone that I can talk and express myself freely. She will surely wipe my tears and carry me whenever i'm feeling down. She might face the world with courage and can overcome things. Maybe she will be brave and positive than me. But sadly realization hits me. This time it is very impossible because she can't be here on my side. The distance that tore us apart. Her appearance that is impossible for me to picture out because she is only 7 months old inside the womb of my mother. The miscarriage that broke the heart of my parents. My eldest sister. The sister that I wish I have. The sister that I dreamed to have. Yes, life must be so easy for me if only she's here but life also teaches me to move on and be the sister that I dreamed to be. I need to believe on myself that I can be the best eldest sister to my younger siblings. I can be brave. I will always be.